Dawn (anemicfairy) wrote,

  • Mood:

I Look Sickly

But I really like this photo
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

I would give anything to not have to do tomorrow. If I could just stay in bed forever I would. I really hate my work. I mean it goes beyond just saying you dislike where you work. My work makes me feel ill. I've been really quiet about my days lately. It's just awful. I go in & no one talks to me... almost every day. Supposedly I'm 'department lead' but my manager won't talk to me instead she has David doing all of her lead work & he won't talk to me either. It's very secretive. I want to vomit everywhere while I'm there. I wanted to walk out several times today... it made me so ill. I don't know what I'm doing in life any more... I have no real goals it feels like... My self esteem isn't too high right now as far as being social. Every day I go into work realizing that half of the store hates me because of what two people keep saying behind my back. It's really not right. For over a year now this job has been by far the worse jobs I have ever had & it has nothing to do w/ the job its self but everything to do w/ the people associated w/ the job. I'm exhausted by all of this. It's made me very sensitive & more anti-social. All I ever want to do right now is hide out w/ Jeff & my brother. Jeff is the only person I know who will be nice to me. Sometimes I think of just giving up & moving out to Moorpark to be w/ him because I don't want stuff here... But Moorpark is kind not where I want to be either. Honestly I need to figure something else out ASAP.

I went to school tonight & printed more pictures. School is almost over. Thats sad. I saw Vicki after school for a little bit. She made me a coffee milk shake. She met a guy who comes to her work at night a lot w/ his girlfriend that works over night at my work & he knows who I am. After some thought I remembered him... we've never talked... he just started actually but he has a mohawk & he's one of the few people who doesn't look at me w/ hate... I swear it's very true. He looked nice...
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